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| Two And A Half Men Season 9 : |
| The ninth season of Two and a Half Men premiered on CBS on September 19 2011 with Ashton Kutcher joining the cast as Walden Schmidt. This season is the first without the show's star Charlie Sheen as well as the first to feature a retooled plot marking a major change in the series by focusing on Alan moving on with his life after the death of Charlie with help from his new best friend and housemate Walden a dot-com billionaire who is in the process of being divorced by his wife. The trio bond and form a surrogate family unit. This was the last season to air on Mondays. |
| Episode 1 - [Nice To Meet You Walden Schmidt] |
| Details : Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt a broken-hearted billionaire. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Emmanuelle Vaugier as Mia | Jenna Elfman as Dharma | Jeri Ryan as Sherri | Jodi Lyn O'Keefe as Isabella | Katherine LaNasa as Lydia | Missi Pyle as Miss Pasternak | Jenny McCarthy as Courtney | Martin Mull as Russell | Joel Murray as Doug | Liz Vassey as Michelle | John Stamos as Prospective House Buyer | Thomas Gibson as Greg | Jennifer Taylor as Chelsea | Angelique Cabral as Shannon | Alexis Krause as Kelly | Denise Richards as Lisa | Tricia Helfer as Gail | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Sep. 19, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 2 - [People Who Love Peepholes] |
| Details : Walden deals with his ex-wife Bridget. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Stephanie Jacobsen as Penelope | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Sep. 26, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 3 - [Big Girls Don't Throw Food] |
| Details : Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Ryan Stiles as Herb Melnick | Nicole J. Butler as Mother | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Director : James Widdoes | |
| Air Date : Oct. 03, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 4 - [Nine Magic Fingers] |
| Details : Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Jenny McCarthy as Courtney | Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Grady Lee Richmond as Elmer | Jackie Becker as Partygoer | Brandon Claybon as Partygoer #2 | Nicholas Gonzalez as Baker | Nikki Novak as Naomi | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Oct. 10, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 5 - [A Giant Cat Holding Churro] |
| Details : Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Nikki Novak as Naomi | Nicholas Gonzalez as Master Baker | Katie Stegeman as Malibu Volleyball Player | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Dave Richardson | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Writer : Susan Beavers | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Oct. 17, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 6 - [The Squat And The Hover] |
| Details : Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Joe Manganiello as Alex | Monika Smith as Kiki | Jane Lynch as Linda Freeman | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Dave Richardson | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Writer : Susan Beavers | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Oct. 24, 2011 |
| Episode 7 - [Those Fancy Japanese Toilets] |
| Details : Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Macey Cruthird as Megan | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Oct. 31, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 8 - [Thank You For The Intercourse] |
| Details : When Walden begins redecorating the beach house Alan becomes overly emotional. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Taylor Cole as Melanie Laughlin | Rebecca McFarland as Leanne | Amanda Schull as Alicia | Macey Cruthird as Megan | Zaid Farid as James | Michael Bailey Smith as Dave | Brian Keith Russell as Thomas | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Writer : Susan McMartin | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Nov. 07, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 9 - [Frodo's Headshots] |
| Details : Upon his release from the hospital Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Ryan Stiles as Herb Melnick | Macey Cruthird as Megan | Gary Busey as Gary Busey | Vernee Watson-Johnson as Nurse Phyllis | Nicole Steinwedell as Veronica Hastings | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Dave Richardson | Writer : Susan Beavers | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | |
| Air Date : Nov. 14, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 10 - [Fishbowl Full Of Glass Eyes] |
| Details : Walden hits it off with a British babe but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Jonathan Banks as Pawn Broker | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Nov. 21, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 11 - [A Lovely Landing Strip] |
| Details : Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Jeff Staron as Barista | Robert Clotworthy as Pilot | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Dec. 05, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 12 - [One False Move Zimbabwe!] |
| Details : Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Jane Carr as Sharon | Jim Piddock as Edward | John Pirruccello as Policeman | Mimi Rogers as Robin Schmidt | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Dec. 12, 2011 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 13 - [Slowly And In A Circular Fashion] |
| Details : Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company so he turns to Alan for help. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Chuck Lacey as Martin | Mimi Rogers as Robin Schmidt | Michael Medico as Bartender | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Jan. 02, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★ |
| Episode 14 - [A Possum On Chemo] |
| Details : Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Travis Van Winkle as Dylan | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Writer : Susan Beavers | Writer : Susan McMartin | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Jan. 16, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 15 - [The Duchess Of Dull-In-Sack] |
| Details : Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Matthew Marsden as Nigel | Sonia Jackson as Andrea | Hira Ambrosino as Kim | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Feb. 06, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 16 - [Sips Sonnets And Sodomy] |
| Details : Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden Alan Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Feb. 13, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 17 - [Not In My Mouth] |
| Details : Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Robert Clotworthy as Pilot | Matthew Marsden as Nigel | Sara Erikson as Jennifer | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Feb. 20, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 18 - [The War Against Gingivitis] |
| Details : Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Rebecca McFarland as Leanne | Patton Oswalt as Billy Stanhope | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Feb. 27, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 19 - [Palmdale Ech] |
| Details : Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Georgia Engel as Jean | Brian Stepanek as Arthur | Caitlin Harris as Lauren | Christina Scherer as Jenny | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Mar. 19, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |
| Episode 20 - [Grandma's Pie] |
| Details : Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Judy Greer as Bridget Schmidt | Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Georgia Engel as Jean | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Apr. 09, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 21 - [Mr Hose Says Yes] |
| Details : Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Writer : Susan Beavers | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Apr. 16, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 22 - [Why We Gave Up Women] |
| Details : Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Kathy Bates as Charlie Harper | Vernee Watson-Johnson as Nurse Lorna | Eddie Shin as Dr. Kim | Abbie Cobb as Gabby | Jacqueline Lord as Tiffany | Abby Walker as Lady 2 | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : Apr. 30, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 23 - [The Straw In My Donut Hole] |
| Details : Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital but Zoey isn’t so sure it’s deserved. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Sophie Winkleman as Zoey | Jason Alexander as Dr. Goodman | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Writer : Susan Beavers | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : May. 07, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★ |
| Episode 24 - [Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!] |
| Details : Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future. |
| Guest Cast and Crew : Ryan Stiles as Herb Melnick | Patton Oswalt as Billy Stanhope | Chase Austin as Slacker #1 | Ryan Heinke as Slacker #2 | Alem Brhan Sapp as Drill Sergeant | Richard Whiten as Sergeant Preston | Graham Patrick Martin as Eldridge Mackelroy | Courtney Thorne-Smith as Lyndsey Mackelroy | Writer : Chuck Lorre | Writer : Lee Aronsohn | Writer : Eddie Gorodetsky | Director : James Widdoes | Writer : Don Reo | Writer : Jim Patterson | |
| Air Date : May. 14, 2012 | Rating ➦ ★★★★★ |